Meet Ben Fletcher, an Adrian Mole for a new generationBen Fletcher must get to grips with his more 'feminine' side following an unfortunate incident with a lollipop lady and a stolen bottle of Martini Rosso from Waitrose.

Introduce yourself to your journal - remember, your journal does not know who you are, it can't see you, it only knows what you choose to write in it. My diary knows very well who I am, thank you. But for the purposes of the exercise, I'll go along with this for now. I'm all over the template idea, believe me. Call me Mr Template. Otherwise known as Ben Fletcher. My friends sometimes call me Bellend Ben which I'm not so keen on. I am small and thin with black hair and brown eyes. I don't like sports, though my Mum thinks I like football. I don't like cars, though my Dad thinks I like Jeremy Clarkson. I don't like fighting, though Lloyd Manning from school thinks I like being punched in the back of the head. What do I like? I like writing and reading and maths and organising things. I sort of like spending time with my friends, though I'm constantly worried about what new trouble they're going to get me into. Why have you chosen to keep a journal? Again, and without wishing to belabour the point, I've been keeping a DIARY for years. Now here comes West Meon Probation Service with their fancy template arrangement. The reason I chose to keep a DIARY was because sometimes my head is so full of thoughts and worries and confusion that the only way I can make sense of it all is to write it down on a clean, lined sheet of paper. Once it's written down, it's sort of locked into place and I can stop worrying about it for a bit. I suppose that at the heart of it, I keep a diary to try and bring a bit of order into my mad world.