Preface: Parenting requires substance and underpinning Rule 1: When you feel your child or adolescent is “difficult”, before reacting out of anger or disappointment, go back to the source of your love! Rule 2: When confronted with violence – show no fear. Meet and defuse it by projecting a controlled presence! Rule 3: If you feel the need to impose sanctions or punishment, first perform a “culpability” check. Keep the level of punishment low in relation to the damages suffered! Rule 4: Live by the values you want your child to commit to in life! Rule 5: Don’t just give an adequate response, have quid pro quo exchanges! Rule 6: Always look for the impression behind the expression! Rule 7: Surprise with an unexpected reaction! Rule 8: Respond with level-headedness and always be consequential! Rule 9: Create emotions if they have grown cold! Rule 10: Direct parenting measures at the behavior, not at the person! Rule 11: Practice consistency in child rearing! Rule 12: Exercise your “parental privilege” – the key to effective parenting! Rule 13: Put your child rearing practices under the “macroscope” and learn what is preventing your children from doing their homework! Rule 14: Control the amount of time your child is exposed to television and computers! Rule 15: Don’t get forced into buying something just to avoid embarrassment! Rule 16: If you are frustrated, take time alone with your parenting principles and see the reflection in the mirror! Rule 17: Never forget: What bothers you is not your child’s behavior, but rather your interpretation of that behavior! Rule 18: Ask questions that cause them to think – not interrogations that lead to predetermined conclusions! Practice the art of “active listening!” Rule 19: Always address every level of a child rearing problem! Rule 20: Use the BARE essentials: Bonding, Active involvement, Respect for boundaries, and Education! Rule 21: Make your child the center of attention from time to time! Love is vital! Rule 22: Improve the hidden learning influences in your child’s environment! Rule 23: Give your children some space: a little distance can bring you closer! Rule 24: Teach your child self-discipline by looking beyond your fears and idealistic views! Rule 25: Avoid going down the “dead ends” of child rearing! Rule 26: Practice 2-way conversations! Rule 27: Escape from self-expectations and enjoy the diversity of the world! Rule 28: Provide encouragement, avoid disciplining! Rule 29: Avoid overreaction or apologize for it! Epilogue: The way out of the parenting doldrums References